Jorts In The Gym

If that’s not an eye catching headline, then I don’t know what is. And, yes, there was a guy wearing jean shorts in the gym last week. Yowza. A sight to behold. Questionable exercise attire choices aside, let’s discuss more weighty matters, like my latest return to exercise. I’ve been down this road before and my guess is that several of you have as well. It’s a New Year, New You resolution! It’s a middle aged realization! It’s a fatass fact.

Despite what the magazines and talk shows say, it is really easy to lose weight: don’t eat. It is super simple to exercise: move until you can’t move any more. But, the trick is knowing how to work these things into your life in a healthy, balanced manner. And the real magical feat is if you can eat well, eat right, move more, move freely without pain, and still enjoy your life. As it turns out, achieving this kind of balance is a lot harder than massive weight loss (been there) or running long distances (done that). Sadly, if you think you will find the answer to the problem here, you are terribly wrong. Hedonism – I am an expert. Eating, drinking and relaxation are my greatest talents! Deprivation and Sacrifice – I am nearly legendary. I will eat less and sweat more than anyone else my trainer has ever worked with! Balance – at this, I am a beginner, a novice and so far a failure.

So, where does this leave me? It leaves me with every day decisions. Sometimes it is every single moment decisions. In this moment, what will I do? Eat the cookie? Don’t eat the cookie? Order an appetizer? Or have the salad (again)? Will I go to the gym today? Can I push out just another five minutes on the treadmill? It is just too overwhelming to think about exercising next week. It is too dangerous to flip my food obsessive coin over and go from too much to too little. It has to be enough that I am going to exercise this morning. I can only choose to eat sensibly right now, this meal. And I might still choose to have dessert. I can only strive for balance one single moment at a time and I have to accept that sometimes, my equilibrium will be off. So I am not going to plan to run another half marathon and I am not going to plan to lose 100 pounds. There will be no more Today show appearances. The fear of failing if I try to attempt these types of things again is absolutely paralyzing and just drives me deeper into a bag of peanut M&M’s. There are no long term goals this time, there are only moments in time. I am going to try really hard not to make any more apologies for my failures. I am only going to Live. Right. Now. Let’s see how it works out.

(Wait! Stop the presses! There is one promise that I am willing to make and you all can hold me to it. I do solemnly swear that I will never wear jorts in the gym.)

3 thoughts on “Jorts In The Gym

  1. Live! That is what we all should be doing. Live for that moment, not the past moment but the now.
    I feel that labels that society has ingrained in our brain has taught us to see things not as they are but what we should be!
    With age comes wisdom and the knowledge that accepting and embracing my not so perfect parts make me who I am. That is the legacy I hope to leave my kids with.


  2. B. Equilibrium suggests balance. As such, rarely is anything or anyone in perfect balance, without the aid of a level or a community (be it family, friends, loved ones or neighbors). Thus, you are bound to “tip the scales”, regardless of a number or a notion, on a daily basis of living in the moment. So, by all means, continue your quest, but celebrate and savor each delicious decision you make. You are You and that, my friend, is NEVER a failure! Unless, of course, you opt for jorts in da gym.


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